So My daughter told me that she has decided that she is a vegetarian.

"Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast." (twostrokesmoke) 08/03/2015 at 12:20 • Filed to: None

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I almost wish she’d said she’s gay. I can deal with that! I know what to do with that! But vegetarian! I have no idea how to handle it. I was not prepared! I was blindsided! My heart and soul are slow smoked barbecue flavored! My blood is thicker than a bottle of Bull’s eye! Oh!! The Gloom! Despair! (okay, Just had to vent. Back to cars, now.)

Rainbow > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:22

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My mom and sister are both vegetarian. All that means is my dad and I can eat all the good meat that they never cared for, and they’ll just have black bean burgers and hummus and whatnot without touching any of the good stuff.

In other words, you’re going to benefit from this more than you think.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Rainbow 08/03/2015 at 12:26

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Nothing wrong with hummus, but black bean “burgers “ are just wrong.

Brian, The Life of > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:27

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Dang. I’m sure she’s a really sweet kid, too.

Too bad she’s gotta go!

WiscoProud > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:28

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How old? My sister dabbled with it from time to time, but is pretty carnivore at the moment.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:32

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Is she a teen or pre-teen? If so, I give it a month.

Cherry_man1 > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:32

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Satire?

Xyl0c41n3 > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:33

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I have no idea how to handle it. I was not prepared!

Simple, you give her a double serving of vegetables and zero servings of animal products. Also, you ask her if she still wants to eat milk or cheese. Ask her if she’s ok with fish, too. If not, then adapt accordingly.

Also, this website is a goldmine for vegetarian recipes. Warning, NSFW for language. http://www.thugkitchen.com/

But seriously dude... overreacting much? I mean, I’m a native Texan, so I understand the irrational love of BBQ and smoked meats, but it’ll be ok. You can BBQ veggies, too.

pauljones > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:34

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There are certain upsides to this. To start with, if your daughter is old enough, she might now have more of an impetus to try cooking for herself. It’s a good way for her to learn a little self-reliance. Assuming she’s young, it’s also a good display of making reasoned decisions on her own, for herself, and a desire to explore new things and try to be healthier.

If you’re still planning on doing the cooking, you’d be absolutely surprised how many amazing recipes are out there that are absolutely delicious. I dated a vegetarian at one point, and when she cooked, I had absolutely no complaints about the food. If you think about it for a moment, you’ll realize that almost everything that we love about the taste of burgers, barbecue, etc. doesn’t come from the meat - it comes from the toppings, sauces, and seasonings, much of which is plant-based anyways.

TractorPillow > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:44

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Agreed. Don’t try to be a meat product if you're not one. Just be yourself. My parents are vegans and they eat fake cheese and meat sometimes but I swear that the weird shit in those fake foods has to be worse than animal flesh for you.

450X_FTW > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:47

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I imagine the conversation went like this

PS9 > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:52

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Meh. You (and whoever else lives with you) eats meat while she can eat the greens. Not seeing the issue.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:54

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My sister went through that a few years back. It wasnt easy.

certain things like ose morningstar frozen spicy black bean burgers are decent and I still eat them now and then..other things were a nightmare

she lasted about 2 months

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > 450X_FTW 08/03/2015 at 12:54

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Yes. From snout to tail, the most delicious animal.

spanfucker retire bitch > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:54

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No no no no. This is all wrong.

We’re omnivores . We’ll eat literally fucking anything. And that’s why we’re Apex Predators, bitch. That cute little lamb? Mmmm, cutlets! How about those rows of corn? Man, those’ll go perfect as a side to a nice grilled Bison burger. Mmm mmm!

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Cherry_man1 08/03/2015 at 12:54

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Reality.

Grindintosecond > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 12:58

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Did she mention why she is doing this? Is it because her friends are doing it? It it for animal rights? Is it for her thoughts on personal health? Did she lose the 90 oz. steak challenge and get disgusted by the attempt?

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Grindintosecond 08/03/2015 at 13:09

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No. Just a phase I think. Pre-teen angst probably.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > pauljones 08/03/2015 at 13:11

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Well, the house rule is that we aren’t a resteraunt, so if she wants a special diet, she’s going to have to learn to do it on her own.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > spanfucker retire bitch 08/03/2015 at 13:11

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I am an apex predator, watch who you call bitch, bitch! Otherwise I agree. grilled piglet....yum.

BigBlock440 > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 13:12

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How old? It seems like at least 1/4 of young girls think they’re vegetarian at one point. My sister decided she would be when she was like 8, that lasted until dinnertime. My middle-school sister-in-law decided she would be when we roasted a pig, had bacon the next morning for breakfast and it was hilarious because she really wanted some but was still vegetarian at this point. It lasted about a week. If your daughter is still fairly young, just give it a few days and it’ll pass.

Grindintosecond > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 13:25

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She’s 12 or something? Yeah its somethig she hasn’t heard of/thought of before. “Boy it sounds like a great idea...hmmm.”

Until the deficit of vitamins and minerals are dealt with, it will be a bad start and you’ll have a grumpy teen on your hands. Honestly, whenever I eat something that’s veggie, I feel pretty good. However my favorite sub sandwich from the local lage size toasted sub shop is the Veggie with 5 strips of bacon on it. So awesome.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Grindintosecond 08/03/2015 at 13:37

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Honestly, she’s grumpy all the time, so it probably won’t be that noticeable.

bryan40oop > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 14:29

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Cherry_man1 > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 15:57

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Over Dramatic much? It’s just she likes veggies? Most kids hate veggies. Now when she starts hating on cars for being not eco friendly that’s when you need to take issue.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Cherry_man1 08/03/2015 at 16:00

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She’s 12..everything is dramatic in her world.

Cherry_man1 > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 16:04

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So you must be over dramatic?

Ryan A. > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 16:05

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Get a Weber Smokey Mountain and smoke some pork shoulder. The smell alone should cure this disease.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Cherry_man1 08/03/2015 at 16:09

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After that comment, I’m trying to decide if you are an asshole or not.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Ryan A. 08/03/2015 at 16:10

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Agreed. Something must be smoked in the near future.

Cherry_man1 > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 16:40

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I’m not trying to be I’m just trying to understand why you are upset about your daughter being a vegetarian. Pre-Teens do weird stuff and like to try new things. Like I tried tofu once when I was 12, it was nasty as all hell. Also just about every pre-teen or teenage girl will do this once in their life. It’s nothing to be overtly concerned about.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Cherry_man1 08/03/2015 at 16:44

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For the humor of it mostly. I thought most of you would get that. Jokes aren’t funny if you have to explain them.

Cherry_man1 > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 08/03/2015 at 16:49

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That’s why I thought it was a Satire piece but when you said no it’s like, really? Also you do know what Satire means right?

wkiernan > bryan40oop 08/03/2015 at 19:00

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I know they say “bacon makes everything better,” but today I was at the bank, where they have a basket of Dum Dum brand lollipops on the counter, and the one I grabbed was, believe it or not, bacon-flavored, and my oh my was it ever awful. Maybe that’s it. She ate a bacon-flavored lollipop and it made her decide to go cold turkey on the whole dietary category.